My heart bleeds for the lost
The ones that have let go of hope.....

My heart breaks for them
When I look into their eyes
And see a reflection of myself.....

My heart bleeds when I see a child
Who's alone in the world, no longer smiling.....

My heart breaks when a smile from me
Isn't accepted by their innocent hearts
When a comforting hand isn't held
And they run from any kind of love

My heart bleeds for this world
That's been led so far away

My heart breaks for everything
All the wrongs and crimes
The rapes and taking of lives
The emptiness filling hearts all around

I wish I could change the world for the better
But, the change we need as of right now~
Is no longer on the agenda
My heart beats still though

I still have hope
Or do I? Can I still hope?



Yes, I realised now that I have been disillusioned by him.

Following his endeavours, I find that it might just be the case of someone who has no confirmed calling or vocation for his life and still pondering on the same and only "thing" that perhaps he can do best.

One thing he has that I never had - the time to "waste" and the affordability to do that.

Some people are so lucky not having to have to think about others but only for themselves.....

I am disillusioned !!



"Love is this - that two solitudes border, protect, and salute one another." German poet Rainer Maria Rilke

Avoid being invasive, trying to get in there and fix each other up. Just be present to a person's solitude, a person's mystery, and let the inner being do the job......



On this day, I am reminded of the painful experiences that have come my way.

In retrospect, these experiences have really taught me a lot and made me understand that discipline and honesty were and still are the two things that will get me through everything.

There is a price to pay for every careless mistake. Yes, the pain sometimes seems greater than I can bear. Until the comfort of the word rings out from Proverbs chapter 3:5&6 " Trust in the Lord with all thine heart, and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy path"

I now realise the foolishness of putting my trust in people and in things. The folly of following my heart and be misled by those with sweet lips.

Also the folly of being careless and trusting in my own intellect.
With much regret I wish that I could go back and undo what has already been done! Despair and depression had surrounded me constantly, and hope in all things seemed to have faded.

I wish to go on believing that every painful experience, every disappointment are going to be the tools to sharpen and refine me. To build up my resilience, to lengthen my perseverance, so that I can go on living my life. Not just any life, but one that would count.

I will no longer ask why I have been "chosen", to be the abandoned lonely one, the one nobody else would ever understand. I want to believe that these experiences will bring me to my place of destiny, wherever this might be. My prayer for myself now and always will be that my god will continue to be kind to impart to me endurance to hold on in all that I am to go through.



"Heavenly Father
we come before you today to ask your forgiveness and
to seek your direction and guidance.

We know Your Word says, 'Woe to those who call evil good,'
but that is exactly what we have done.
We have lost our spiritual equilibrium and reversed our values.
We have exploited the poor and called it the lottery.
We have rewarded laziness and called it welfare.
We have killed our unborn and called it choice.
We have shot abortionists and called it justifiable.
We have neglected to discipline our children and called it building self esteem.
We have abused power and called it politics.
We have coveted our neighbor's possessions and called it ambition. We have polluted the air with profanity and pornography and called it freedom of expression.
We have ridiculed the time-honored values of our forefathers and called it enlightenment.

Search us, Oh God, and know our hearts today;
cleanse us from every sin and
Set us free.
Amen!"



What will you be doing once you have returned
unto your mother's house and childhood land?
You have left the mission field,
but I know you have not left His hand.

Can you tell me about your journeys, about your lessons learnt?
Those answered prayers, and also what still concerns you
The ways and works of God that you understand,
and what the Holy Spirit has yet planned for you?

I hope to be waiting for you
and watching for you to appear,
so that I can rejoice and celebrate with you,
comfort you and wipe away every tear you had shed.

Over here, I eagerly anticipate
and wait to hear and see
whatever God has planned for you.



If you can look at the sunset and smile,
then you still have hope.

If you can find beauty in the colours of a small flower,
then you still have hope.

If you can find pleasure in the movement of a butterfly,
then you still have hope.

If the smile of a child can still warm your heart,
then you still have hope.

If you can see the good in other people,
then you still have hope.

If the rain breaking on a roof top can still lull you to sleep,
then you still have hope.

If the sight of a rainbow still makes you stop and stare in wonder,
then you still have hope.

If the soft fur of a favoured pet still feels pleasant under your fingertips, then you still have hope.

If receiving an unexpected card or letter still brings a pleasant surprise, then you still have hope.

If the suffering of others still fills your with pain and frustration, then you still have hope.

If you refuse to let a friendship die, or accept that it must end,
then you still have hope.

If you look forward to a time or place of quiet and reflection,
then you still have hope.

If you can look to the past and smile,
then you still have hope.

If, when faced with the bad, when told everything is futile,
you can still look up and end the conversation with the phrase..."yeah...BUT.,"
then you still have hope.

Hope is such an amazing thing.
It bends, it twists, it sometimes hides, but rarely does it break.
It sustains us when nothing else can.
It gives us reason to continue and courage to move ahead,
when we tell ourselves we'd rather give in.

Hope puts a smile on our face when the heart cannot manage.

Hope puts our feet on the path when our eyes cannot see it.

Hope moves us to act when our souls are confused of the direction.

Hope is a wonderful thing,
something to be cherished and nurtured,
and something that will refresh us in return.
And it can be found in each of us,
and it can bring light into the darkest of places.

Never lose hope !!

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